The Robbery

I am writing about this kind of late. It’s been already 3 months after this happened, but although most things have settled down the trauma is still lingering and will remain so for a while.

On October 17, the first night of Succos, we went out at about 6 pm to go eat dinner by our friends’ house who live on a neighboring street. We came back home at about 9 pm or so. As I open the front door it feels like that something is blocking it. I pushed hard and the following picture was in front me. There was a huge pile of garbage piled in front of the door consisting of kids’ toys, books, papers, and various stuff. The first thought that came to my mind was, “I don’t remember leaving the house like this before we left, and didn’t we clean up for Yom Tov?” All of the drawers are flung open. The porch door is left wide open. I realized that we have been robbed.

I ran around the apartment to see what’s gone. My backpack with my laptop, my wife’s purse, my car keys, my grandfather’s laptop (yes, the one that passed away), my wife’s laptop, my wallet, cell phones, etc… Basically all of the good stuff. Together with the stuff were all of our IDs, driver licenses, passports, credit cards.

I frantically started running around the building banging on all of the neighbor’s doors to see if anyone would help (I wasn’t sure what that was, but felt like I needed it). Finally, someone opened. I thought they were Israeli and when I opened my mouth to try to say something in Hebrew, I just froze and couldn’t remember a word. Luckily they turned out to be Americans and spoke English (which I still remembered oddly enough). I told them that were robbed and we should probably contact the police. They came with me across the street to a building where a police officer lives. He didn’t really want to ruin his Yom Tov, so he told us to go to a Rav (nothing here happens without a Rav, including the police) and ask if we can get a goy (yeah, try to find that around) to call the police. The Rav hesitated for a while, but then finally gave in. (He changed his attitude on his next day regarding his hesitation when he found out a bit later that his neighbors in his building were robbed as well that same night and it really could have been him. How quickly we change when trouble strikes really close.) I ran up the street and saw a few people standing talking. I asked them if they know anyone who has a non-Jewish maid working for them. Oddly enough there was someone on the same block. I ran to their house and they let me borrow their maid to dial that phone after which I ended up talking into the phone myself.

The police came shortly after armed to their teeth (machine guns and the whole shebang). They started snooping around the house looking for how the robbers got in (we live on the 4th floor from the front side where they entered). Our succah was moved, the light above was carefully unscrewed, and to the rail of the porch was tied a plastic water house that was taken from the garden of the neighbors below (who weren’t there). The robbers repelled against a 3 meter (about 10 feet) flat wall using this hose. We didn’t have bars on our windows and porch door wasn’t locked, so after that they just walked right in. The police wanted to check the apartment below from whom the hose was taken, and since I had a key they thought it would be easy. When we came to their door it was locked from the inside. The police started snooping around the building and saw that the bar on their bedroom window which faced the garden was ripped off the wall and cracked in half, using a car jack. Then the window pane was taken out and the rest is easy. The scene inside was the same as in our apartment, except that there was a half drunk soda bottle sitting open in the middle of their kitchen and the refrigerator was left open. Apparently these guys got thirsty in the middle and decided to leave their mark.

After the police left I realized that since they have every ID of mine, bank cards and all of the credit cards they can get a pile of money or at least buy something really big. I ran back to the house with the maid (yes, it’s midnight by now), and asked them if she can call the credit card companies to void all cards, at least the Israeli ones. After that was done I decided to go home. But who can sleep. We all went to sleep to our neighbors that night. My older son was really freaked out because the thieves took his school backpack to carry a bunch of the loot.

Since we only have one day of Yom Tov, and my car keys were stolen as soon as Yom Tov was over I called the leasing company to tow away my car before they come back and take too. When they came they didn’t have a spear key so they smashed the window to get in. I am glad it’s a company car and not mine. Then the locksmith showed up to change the keys. The next morning the police should up to take finger prints. Did they find any? Of course not. Only glove prints. No one really knows who did it, but everyone assumed it was the Bedouins who sit in the hills across and watch with binoculars who does what in every house and know exactly who is home and who is not. And they were real professionals. Everyone was eating in their succahs, but no one heard a thing.

The next morning I went to the police station to get a protocol made. The police assured me that I can drive with the protocol without a driver’s license and it will be ok. Now that would never work in the US, but here the police are almost your cousin so it’s all cool. I thought to myself that now that I am ID-less I will for sure get pulled over, and so it was destined to happen. But will get to that in a minute.

We spent the next 3 months increasing security. Alarm system, bars, a walk in safe (we took or sealed room and put a safe lock in it, so now it’s a walk-in safe) and even a dog. I ordered a dog from the Ukraine hoping that he would be hypo-allergenic because it’s a pure bred poodle. I spent a month sending the money, arranging with poddle club, talking to the owner, preparing, buying dog stuff, etc… But in the end G-d sits and laughs upstairs (although in my case he already fell off the chair long ago and is having chronic cramps from constant laughter). As soon as the puppy arrived my 3 year old started having massive allergic reactions and asthma attacks. The puppy had to go within 2 days and luckily I was able to sell him right away through the poodle club.

My younger son got so traumatized from all of this that for the past 4 months he has basically one game. He pretends to be a puppy that is constantly killing robbers.

I spent the following month recovering our IDs. It’s fun enough when one ID is stolen, but what happens when all of them get stolen and you have no way of proving who you are. Plus every agency has their rules. To get the Israeli Teudat Zehut you need a passport. And to get a passport you need some picture ID. The Israeli security will not let you into the embassy without a US passport, unless you scream and beg. And so on with everything. I even had trouble paying the Arnona (property tax), because they wanted my Teudat Zehut instead of which I only had the Teudat Oleh (Yes, I had to go to court to swear that it was really stolen, even though the administrator of the local Misrad HaKlita knows me personally) and the letter from the police. Don’t they want their money?

On the way back from the US embassy I got pulled over by police. There were already a bunch of cars pulled over in the same spot. They asked me for the driver’s license. I said I have one, but it was stolen and here is the letter from the police. I showed them my US passport and started telling them how I am a dumb American who is lost, which is why I have a GPS in my car (they were interested in that) and all my stuff was stolen and I have no idea why they pulled me over. They took my passport and then told me to get out of the car. (Yes, if that happens in the US you’re doomed.) The Israeli prison was already flashing before my eyes. I knew that I was going to be placed in a cell next to Marwan Barghouti who was going to make himself a praying mat out of my peyos. But low and behold the policeman asked me for my cell phone number and then told me I was good to go. I asked what I did wrong. He said I crossed the solid white line as I was exiting and even in America that’s not allowed. I started arguing (it’s a natural reaction here in Israel) that I was lost and only realized that I was about to go on the wrong road in the last second which is why I switched too late. He said to me, “Don’t worry, I am not giving you a ticket. We take everyone’s cell phone number if we pull them over for any reason, it’s the protocol. We don’t do anything with it.” And so I was on my way. Still shocked, because if this would have happened in the US I for sure would have been ticketed and may be even arrested for arguing with a cop and driving without a license. It’s good when every policeman is your cousin.

Replacing the other documents was not a big deal. Once I figured out the sequence of what I needed it was easy and fast. The DMV in the US even mailed us new driver licenses and State Department mailed new Social Security cards. My car was fixed and rekeyed for free and I even got a temporary replacement delivered to my door. So now we are all IDed again and official. My identity is restored and Marwan Barghouti is still sitting by himself.

The shock remnants are still there and when I walk into the house after being away, I still check if any of the drawers are opened. False alarms go off every once in a while and the security company comes over to check how it is going. Every blue moon (yes, we have those here too) the neighbors complain that our alarm wakes them up at night to which I reply, “That’s nice.” And my grandfather's writings on his laptop and his watch that he gave me when I was a kid are gone forever. But be that as it may I am still here in the Holy Land trying to find out from G-d why everything has to always be so funny.